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Showing posts from March, 2014

Addiction, character defects, life.

Life is interesting at best.  Managing all the things that need managing is quite the chore.  If a person is able, or willing to admit the difficulty of the process.  And granted I realize that there's folks out there that don't even "get" that life is a process.  I can't really relate to that -but that's just me.  I have multiple levels of awareness going on at different times, and some tell me I'm eccentric.  Heck, I can catch that...  I know that the almighty mind has much more power over me than I really prefer - albeit I am a heart creature.  Balance that one out, it's a challenge personally - truly.

I've run into some defects of character since partnering.  It was inevitable - but disconcerting none the less.  It runs along the vein that I was sharing about a few days ago of there only being things that can be worked out when in relationship.  It wasn't as if I didn't know that I had defects.  Trust me, I've seen many an A.A. me…

Love's strength & stretch.....

Love stretches us.  It can't but not.  There are just things, aspects of ourselves that can only be irradiated when we are in relationship with another person.  Nasty aspects of ourselves at that - bits of our personalities that we didn't even knew would rear their ugly heads...  They pop up while under stress, fatigue, and duress.  Something gets said, or crankiness sets in, and someone's feelings get hurt.  One or the other of you have let something leak our of the old stream of consciousness that just didn't need to be said -- you're filter didn't function properly.  You've said one of the things that you'd even get on to yourself for thinking... and holy moly - it actually came out of your mouth.  Ah crap, now you've done it.  You've hurt someone that you love.

Heidi and I both have illnesses.  This makes it difficult to be or have the ability to have a consistent life.  When I feel okay - she might not.  I have chronic pain and assorted od…

Loving Humans.

It's been a long time since I've written.  Copious amounts of things have happened - unreal really - but then again, not to me.  When my journey hit the world, did it surprise or shock?  Those who knew me weren't blown over but still taken back a bit.

Life is about change, new possibilities, and opportunities.  I'd been in the state of mind that I'd been in for quite some time - and then added school.  That was okay -- hard sometimes but a risk, and an challenge that I needed.  Then fate hit my life.  It shook my foundation a bit, but also got me back face to face with another part of me too.  People don't understand same sex relationships -- and don't even try.  Their minds go immediately to what a person does sexually - and they personalize it, and don't even think - THINK that our relationships might (just might) be pretty damn normal, stable.......UH the same as heterosexual relationships.  It's sad, but hey that is what one has to deal with in…