This little book is called, "Jesus Calling", by Sarah Young. I adore it. I read it most mornings. I particularly like this entry. This book is to me, like Jesus Himself is speaking to me.
I've had the occasion as of late to have a few people pretty much tell me that I'm not healed because I'm not speaking it - or either I'm not believing it - etc. It seems to me that I'm having other people's beliefs placed upon me. I've even been told by someone that I love dearly --- that my pain is a "demon". I do not believe this. I went to see my Pastor over that one. It upset me quite a lot. Matter of fact - I'm upset now -- because I believe that I'm being told to believe things that just aren't agreeing with my spirit man. Not that what has been told to me isn't perhaps biblical, which is what is difficult -- but the reason for this blog is for those of us that haven't received healing --- what are we to think/believe? Is it that our faith isn't strong enough? Or is God at fault here? I know that I am not alone in this query.
I love God. I trust God unequivocally. I've been saved since I was a child. I've loved God my entire life. I'd say however, in these last three years though that I've come to know the Lord in such an amazing way -- and it's dramatically redefined my life. I am no longer the human that I once was -- and I mean even in christianity - I made plenty of mistakes - and there were times when I rarely drew a sober breath. Yet, I still loved the Lord. I'm not certain how those two things coexist - but knowing that I was and can still be contumacious, but that God loves me still. I have learned in grace that I don't have to work for my salvation - Jesus sealed my heart, and your heart -- and finished the work -- at Calvary.... There isn't one single thing that I can or have to do to add to that -- He doesn't need my help. This is what grace is. It's all about faith and we're all given an equal measure. Yet I've been put through an ordeal because of someone else's beliefs to the point where I've stressed myself out so much trying to express my faith to God - because I am not healed. It has a ring to it of failure on my part. I mean if it hasn't happened.... doesn't it have to be someone's fault? Isn't that what I'm being told? Isn't there blame to be lain?
I'm here to tell whomever today that I don't accept that. Nor do I look to God, my precious Redeemer -- with any lack. Of any kind --- pain - sickness - depression - whatever. There are those that would say I should just stop taking all of my meds... but God gave us physicians. I know that Jesus is the ultimate physician. However, we are all different, and different for a reason. My pain has taught me a great deal about life, and about compassion for others. I would not trade what it's taught me -- because I know people that have no compassion - and they are lacking. I also know what man might use for evil, God uses for good. Jesus is light, and there is no darkness in Him at all.... so then is pain darkness? I don't know - but I do believe that He heals each of us differently. My pain isn't a severe as it once was - and my addiction has been taken from me. Praise God!!! However, some still don't see the forest for the trees. God has reasons that He does things in the manner in which He does. I don't have crystal ball to know why - but I trust His precious will. I pray for it, in my life. I refuse to believe that I'm not doing enough, don't have enough faith, or just simply am not enough on any level period -- whether it be how I speak, think, walk, talk, or otherwise - that has hindered my healing. I will wait on God and when He deems it, He will heal me. I will not accept that I am deficient in anyway. I am a child of the most high God! My high priest sits at the right hand of God and I will be healed when God sees fit, not when others think so.
Jesus is so precious to me. He is the heart of my life. My love for Him guides everything that I do. Yes, I'm worthy of healing, and I'm ready to accept it, I believe in it, whole-heartedly. If you've read my blog then you full well know that I believe in miracles and have experienced them - and there will be more in my life. I know it. I'll be patient, renew my strength and share the Lord with anyone any chance I get. And I do. I am on a path as our devotional for today says. I do have a purpose. I know that my Redeemer will show me where it is that I am to go -- and I will go. I will go no matter what anyone else thinks, or what they say. I do not particularly care what others think of me, or whether or not I'm healed. This is between God and myself. He's my Beloved, not theirs. It's a shame that people push their belief upon you. I share, if it means something to you - beautiful, if it doesn't - that's okay too. MY aim is to inspire thought, and introspection. Heck, just roll some thoughts around about God. That's all I ask. See what feels right for you.
My purpose for this particular blog however is for believers - believers that are still in search of healing. Don't give up, and don't let anyone tell you that your not doing something right. To me, that's wrong in itself. Make your petitions known to God and be patient --- He's still in the miracle business. He's the same yesterday - today - and He will be tomorrow - a Healer, our Great Physician, our Comforter, the giver of precious peace, and the all consuming One. I owe everything in my life to Him. I write about Jesus to inspire others, not to tell anyone what they "should" be doing, ever. I don't wish to every offend anyone. It's my joy I try and share, most of the time. I realize, acknowledge that Jesus is still in the healing business..... I know it's happening to me, little by little. It's my healing, not anyone else's. We are all different in God's eyes, all precious in His sight. I trust, and honor this. To me, whether He decides to heal me or not, He's precious in my eyes, and heart - pain or no pain. It will be used for God's goodness, I promise you that. And I will be at peace.... because Jesus is our peace. I realize that through Jesus's stripes I am healed... I am healing. I realize the power behind those words. I say them. I whole-heartedly believe them. I breathe that life into my body. Yet when I still have pain, I just accept that there's a reason that the Lord knows why. I'm still at peace. Some folk don't understand this. And this is perfectly okay. It's not their pain. It's my walk with Jesus, not theirs.
My Jesus is amazing. Your Jesus is amazing. Let's let that be our focus. Whether or not we're healed - well I think that's God's business. I trust and know - He's sitting at the end of my life just waiting for me and He sees all. He and only He knows the reasons for why things are the way that they are. I pray for His wisdom, not man's. Many times I don't trust man's wisdom, mainly because we are so short sighted and singularly minded.... That's the beauty of the Lord. He not only has my heart in His hands, He has yours and your neighbors. Isn't that lovely? Those of us that know that kind of love and protection. There is no fear there. Just safety. Surety. It allows me to trust and love on a level I've not loved since I was a child, with an innocence so sweet. It's beyond words for me, and I "do" words.
I pray that you find that peace and loved feeling today. No matter what your circumstances. No matter how low you may feel. No matter how much life has beaten you up. Our Redeemer lives. He lives inside of us. Shine. Just shine. Rest in His goodness, and know, He's got this....... today - tomorrow and forever.
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