Monday, August 18, 2014


I didn't entitle this blog specifically as to what kind of pain for a reason.  I say this because I think we all experience it the same.  Pain - I believe is universal.  I believe it to be a language that we all understand on some level... albeit emotional, mental or physical.  I believe it all depends upon what we do with it is what matters.  I suppose I have to believe this way --- because I've had to embrace it head on, full blown.  If I don't watch closely - it will try to own me.  It's an everyday struggle for me -  and it has been for a long, long, time.

Pain sharpens the mind.  It can't but not.  It whittles away at your sanity.  Chip by chip, by chip.    Hour by hour.  Sometimes, minute by minute.  Depending upon how intense it is.  However, the oddity of it is in the severity of it all - to look at you, no one would dare know there's anything going on at all with you.  You "look" - fine....  Except  you don't act, nor can you -- act or BE -fine.

Fine.  What a word.  What a lie.  How many times it's told.  Repeatedly.  Who is really - fine?  I just don't see it.  Maybe it's me.  I've been touched by so many, experienced so much, that I honestly don't know too many people that could ever really categorize themselves as - fine.  Ever.  But we say it.  Over and over.  We don't even admit it to ourselves - because I think we believe that we are fine when we say it!

I've just came off of a seven day horror ride of varying degrees of headaches.  It's finally subsided, Praise God.  I didn't think it would ever stop.  I found myself in that pain state thinking that it would never end, and what would I do?  Along with the pain that I already have (which has not been bad praise God) is a great deal to contend with for this small human.  I wonder sometimes how I ended up with all of this?  I know that such questions have no real answers and if they did, it wouldn't change the facts.  I'm grateful that I understand this - for some search and search only to be bitterly disappointed when the discover that understanding doesn't bring change.

I suppose through my searching to find answers for this debacle of searing pain I did discover it's source - and have had to make some changes - however small, but changes no less.  I have TMJ and my jaw is completely jacked-up.  I knew that it was out of whack but not to the degree that it was going to cause mind-blowing  pain like it has.  I've had some worries too and that has caused some grinding which has increased the problem.  I'm having to wear my mouth guard 24-7 now.  It's an inconvenience, but it's a hellofa lot better than the migraines, facial, and neck pain.   This also leads me to address the things that I am obviously powerless over.  Yes, you read that right - I - the Queen of peace, have been worrying.

I inserted the illustration above for several reasons... one because I think it very indicative of life, period.  We don't see other's pain.  We don't share our pain.  We have personal pain, and universal pain.  Yet - we tell each other we're FINE.  I've really grown to dislike that word - that lie.  It's not as if we're lying on purpose - I don't believe that -- it's just that we don't want to get into what's really going on for whatever reason.  However, I challenge you today - to tell the truth.  Be honest with someone, someone that you trust.  See if your burden isn't lightened just a little bit.  Pain shared is pain lessened.  We need each other.  This is just a fact.  I've lived long enough alone - and learned how to do just that -- to know that we're not islands.  Life wasn't designed for us to be alone.  God gave us companions.  At the very least, someone to talk to.  Share your pain.  See if the other person hasn't had some of the same experiences.  Let some of the stuff from below the surface see daylight.  You'll feel a whole lot lighter, I promise.  You'll be a whole lot less of the walking wounded.  I can attest to this because I've lived it.  People are suffering in silence, and there just isn't any sense in it.  Not when we have a world full of people.  There are people that care, you just have to pick them carefully.  I think you'll find they're suffering too.

Everyone on some level understands pain - be it a toothache or the loss of a loved one - it doesn't matter, it is a crushing of the heart.  If we could stop judging each other for stupid stuff like skin color and what kind of car we drive, we might get to the "heart" of the matter, that we all have scars.  We've a wounded world -- just look at what's happened at Ferguson.  That's some long time coming expulsion of pain there man.  God Bless them, and heal their hearts.  We're all standing in a river, dying of thirst.  We don't utilize what we have.... and we just bear the pain.  I don't know if it is because we think we're supposed to, or no one has ever given us permission to release it.  However, I challenge you today to really tell someone how you are instead of the lie, someone that you trust.  Start a new journey because you can... don't let the pain own you -- you bring it to the light, and often times that's all it takes for it's release.  And try and remember -- others have pain you know nothing about.  Always, always --- as you would like for yourself, BE KIND......

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