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Showing posts from September, 2015

Thinking about thinking.....

I actually wonder how many of us do this?  Are we aware that we have resistance to our forward thinking thoughts, our positive energy motivating behaviors, the new intentions that form in our minds?  We do!  It's that nagging voice that pops up and tells you why you can't or shouldn't do what you've just so wonderfully welcomed doing.  It's a instant lash of negative, a knife blade of death to the creative voice in your head.  Do you hear yourself thinking?  Do or have you ever even thought about it?

There are so many times that I just wish I could stop the thoughts that run through my head.  I can intercede upon them, but I've yet to conquer them.  Of course with anything, the first step is awareness... we have to stop and think about our thinking... we have to examine it.  Most people aren't comfortable with this.  It takes guts sometimes.  It really takes an enlightened person, one that can stand outside there own mind.  Yes there can be judgement, it&#…

Honesty with Self and a giving heart.

It's been some time since I've written.  Even though I'm on meds, depression has my creative voice.  I'm attempting to manage some unmanageable things -- go to therapy and emotionally deal with life the best way that I know how at this time.  Most days it seems that I don't feel, despite the fact that I try.  I detest this about medication, it makes life really seem like it's not worth living, especially when your a feelings based person such as I am.  Most of what I do feel is surrounded by negative self-worth and berating myself.  I know that this is the depression talking - and the voices of my past.  The  "old-tapes" if you will.  That triggers more depreciation because I wonder to myself if I'll ever break free of my past with my mother.  I suppose after 25+ years of therapy -- the answer might just be, uh, no.   It's okay - I know that I'm a much different person today than I've ever been, and I do catch myself when the negative…