Monday, May 22, 2017

Facing Fear

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot do."

I quite like this quote, and I admire Eleanor Roosevelt.  I have faced many a fear in my life - I've taught myself how to navigate major cities by myself on three separate occasions.  Well, me and God.  I certainly prayed my way through and was quite certainly terrified.  I had all of my worst fears come to fruition in one day in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in a blinding snow storm.  I was lost, my windshield wipers stopped working, I went UP and OFF ramp - and my car died.  It still didn't kill me.  : )  I was, however - emotionally exhausted when I got home, but thankful.  

Life is odd.  Our development in it is peculiar as well.  Our emotional states ebb and flow.  We can be at what seems like our mountain top at one time in our lives and virtually feel as if we're sinking at another point.  I am struggling with some of life's simpler things - the barest of essentials, decision making, and facing fears.  This may seem quite rudimental to some, but if you've ever battled with depression or anxiety --- then you'll know first hand how difficult it can be.  My plight as of late has been a loss of connection with any type of community - feeling alienated from life period.  An as I've mentioned before -- I know that if I'm going thru this, then there's others as well.  

Our society has gone through a huge transformation.  It's this digital age.  We no longer have 'real' friends, we have 'virtual' ones.  I don't know about anyone else, but this just doesn't cut it with me.  

I don't believe that this is healthy - nor is it beneficial for our souls growth.  Oh, most folks walk around like they're all ok, but I don't believe that they are.  I don't believe that the majority of us are as healthy, whole, contented, nor fulfilled as we "pretend" to be.  We weren't designed to accept or even have access to as much information as we are bombarded with on a daily basis -- and I think it causes a continual state of overwhelm in most people... it's just that no one is saying anything.  We've become, robotic.  I don't know about you, but this does not sit well with my spirit.  Nor my soul.  

See, I'm here, on this universe for my soul's evolution.  What I mean by that is, life is a journey.  It is a journey that we all take.  Hopefully we take it with some awareness of our experience of who we are, who we're becoming, who we aspire to be, and how we affect our fellow man.  We do not live on an Island.  What we do, or do not do -- it affects our neighbor.  Just like ripples in an ocean.  I'm not professing anything that isn't already known - but do we think of it often?  Or are we so self-centered and mindless that we think that the world revolves around us?  I sure hope not.  Many people that I see out in the world - seem to not be able to see past their phones.  I find this disarming.  God did not place us on this earth, for this kind of self-centered, mindless, ridiculous behavior.  

Therefore, it is no wonder I struggle with loneliness, isolation, and lack of community.  I am all too aware of what's out there.  Attempting to interact with this society is brutal.  More often than not -- you're not going to be able to make a friend.  Why?  Most likely because their phone is their constant companion.  People don't need people anymore.  Or at least they think they don't.  They're seriously mistaken.  This is why there were so many people in the locked unit at the hospital.  I was blown away at the amount of people there... and it's only going to get worse.  People on this earth are walking wounded... and have no one to interact with nor to get their needs met - and they don't even know it.  They believe they can get whatever they need through an app or via social media --- and they are so very disillusioned.

I am a empath, and a truth seeker.  I am intense.  I do things with great passion.  It is who I am.  I need people, despite the fact that I've always thought of myself as a lone wolf - I need people in my life for feedback.  It is despicably unfortunate that I now have to pay pretty much ever last person that is in my life - to be there.  But this is where society has taken us.  It makes me feel sick inside.  It must also make God cry.  I'll say again, He did NOT place us on this earth for this.  My heart aches for His.  

My hope, my grandest aspiration is that you put down your phone.  Or at least use it to call someone.  Make plans to do something face to face, and leave your phone alone.  Respect them enough to give them your full attention, and you might be surprised at how good you feel after you're done.  I had the immense pleasure of spending the afternoon with an old friend yesterday - and it was wonderful.  It was just what I'd been needing.  Human interaction without interruption.   How glorious.  God truly blessed me yesterday.  My hope is that you can (or have) the same experience.  

As for me, I'm going to get out there this week, and face my fears with Ms. Roosevelt in mind.  I don't believe it's too late for things to turn around, and I don't think that this world is going to self-destruct yet.  I'll never give up my hope.  

God's grace to you all.      

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