My pain has been great as of late. I did not even intend for that to rhyme. It is my own fault -- to a degree, I've been smoking. Nicotine makes my neuropathy worse. Yet, there are things in my life that are going on, and my love of the Father that just makes my heart so full.
My morning reading was about Jesus leaning over our shoulders and knowing our thoughts. I find that endearing. For in the closest tense that I know -- with one human exception - He is my closest confidante. I may not talk to Him all the time, but I know without one single doubt, He is always there. To a girl who's life has been riddled with inconsistency -- this is HUGE. I cannot even find words to explain how huge. If God had not directed my path to Midland church and to Pastor Paul, and to Grace...... I'd never known what I know now. I'd never known that God wasn't mad at me. I'd never known that God wasn't some stiff, stanch, mean, unforgiving, hellish figure that deals out consequences like cards... if I had not come to Midland. And however does one thank someone for something, for such a gift, as this?
I use songs in my blog to express myself because it does so sometimes better than I can. Lyrics to songs are amazing things that I believe are inspired by God Himself. Oh, how I wish that I could be a voice for God like that. Especially these days when fewer and fewer people read my blog. I realize that it is only my thoughts, my dreams, and my aspirations... but the jewels that the Lord has given me, needs to be shared. This I do know.
Father God, thank you, for Your beauty, Your majesty -- Your heart. The heart that You've always had, that I've only been able to see in these past few years. The heart that is still unfolding in my life. The treasure of Your riches is immeasurable. The vastness of Your love, inexplicable. I glorify You today with my life. The life that You've always wanted me to have. Thank You Jesus, for all that You have planned for me -- for the desires of my heart. Give me a voice so that others may listen, and know You. Speak through the holy spirit in me, and guide me. I honor You, I praise You, I love You with all my heart.
In Jesus holy name,