I watched a moving last night that has struck me so hard. It is as if I can't move past the feeling that has resonated. Nor do I want to. It is an excellent feeling that I have - one of beauty and awe. I have not felt like this I don't believe ever after watching a film. I am deeply moved.
I realize it was a motion picture. Yet I cannot move past it. It's shaken me that hard. The movie is 'Seven Pounds', with Will Smith. Smith is a man that seems to be fairly normal, an internal revenue man -- a daunting task by any means necessary. He tracks down people that are behind (seriously) on there taxes. At least this is what it seems. I'll not spoil it for you....
What I am actually struck by is what this has driven up in my spirit. It's awakened something inside my spirit man. I've awakened to a urgency for what I don't know. All I know is that I feel incredibly grateful for my life. All of my experiences that have brought me to where I am at this given moment in time. I've felt at times like 'I should be at a different place at 52'. However, right at this very moment, it is like finding a penny on the ground and knowing that this penny is a penny from Heaven - placed there for you to find like a coordinate in time. A destination marker deeming you are where you are because this is where you are supposed to be.
I've always wanted to be the kind of person that made a difference in people's lives. Always. No matter how small. This is why I write. I write for therapeutic purposes, yes, but I write to dispense hope. This is my calling. Hope dispersion. This is what God called me to do in one form or another. It is the only way that I can do this at this present moment. So this is my outlet. My voice, if you will. This will be my legacy. It cannot be erased like my Father was. This is under my control. I am the administrator. These are my words, my feelings, my thoughts.
Nevertheless, I exsude hope. I have for years, but this morning -- the precious morn, I am filled with precious, inexplicable, bountiful hope. My spirit is renewed. Life feels new.
I do not have time to write this morning but I will. It's church day. I need to let this simmer. I need to let this combine with the Holy Spirit inside of me.
God has great plans for you - Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (NKJV)
Father God, thank you for you excellence! Thank you for you insight! Your beauty is boundless! Altruism is not dead. It is alive in me, your daughter. Thank you for showing me your beauty again Father God. Thank you for showing me the deep things of the heart. Your compassion is so elegant, your heart is beyond comprehension. Thank you Father for this tiny vision of who I know that You are. I am humbled. You've set me free. Continue to work in my spirit as only You can. Amen.
Thank you Mr. Smith for making this film. You've touched me, deeply.