Showing posts from January, 2015

Love. Mercy. Grace.

As I sit here this morning, I've thought of many things.  As I do when I think of writing, a feeling overtakes me.  I think of Father God and all that I've been through.  I think of the love that is never ending - the constancy I'd never known - and how this has affected my life.  These are the times when there just aren't words.  Words fail when it comes to describing the Father's steadfast, enduring, heartfelt love.  His mercy so great that one's heart feels as if it might burst with such feeling of earnest emotion.  Never will I be able to describe it, nor in all actuality live my life to the full that I know that the Lord would have me.  Do not be confused, this has nothing to do with working to pay the Lord back, not to live up to some "standard", or fulfill some payment -- but how I know that my Savior would have me live in the riches of happiness.  I say that with sadness, a transfixed emotion -- because of God's true nature.  

What do I mea…

The madness of Fibromyalgia and depression.

And I've struggled.  For months.  Medication can be our undoing.

It was subtle at first.  I seemed to not care about things that used to matter to me.  Cleanliness of this, tidiness of that.  Then came the desire to sleep.  It was so subtle in fact, I did not notice it.  Depression is a nasty, nasty, entity.  The dark days landed.  It seemed my insides would unseal.  It feels as if there is a separation  of soul and spirit.  One begins to discover the malady.

First it seems to be the discovery -- then comes the how of the solution.  What has caused this?  What can be done?  All this falls on a dis-eased mind..  The pondering and pining is enough to give way to one's final push to the undoing.

It's hard to let others know you're struggling.  Especially on this magnitude.  One fears judgement, and rejection -- of both I endured.  People that don't live with this state, really don't understand it, or rather they fear it.  I've one true friend, and I owe so …