God - Part ll
What does one now, say about God. I've shared my experience, my struggles - and that I knew (not as much as I do now) that God was with me... The only part that I did not include was the surgeries, the infections, and the like, but that isn't what I want to write about. I doubt that this is anything one would want to read. Those were extremely hard times. However, I did heal.
Healing is to me multifaceted. There are times when the emotional pain is so brutal, you do not think you will survive it. I've had times when I've been so ill, I've actually prayed for death. I look back now and regret this - but I could not see an end to the suffering. And this, would cause some people to say, "there is no God." I'm here to tell you - He brought me healing, in a most unusual way. God always does things in such a way that is unique. It has happened in my life where I absolutely knew, it was a miracle from God. It is usually a subtle, quiet answer that comes from an unlikely source. God does not do things boastfully. At least He has not in my life. He is gracious, humble, and so compassionate - working through other people most of the time. This is where I think most people don't see that it is really God, nor give Him credit where credit's due. God works through people, all the time.
People expect great and wondrous things to happen with God, like Santa Claus- and God can do this - no problem, but often times he chooses to be quiet and work in the background of our lives. I've said it over and over, the miracles are there, if a person chooses to look for them. He wants us to have new eyes. To be open to beauty - kindness - compassion - to live a open hearted life. The Holy Spirit (if a person is a believer) will guide and direct you. That nudging, that gut feeling, I call it - is the Holy Spirit guiding you. A person has to get still enough, and quiet enough to listen, and know themselves to recognize this inner voice. It is easy to blow off - but if we want the lives He would have us to have - we will listen and be obedient.
God is not vengeful, angry, nor wrathful. Much to many's identification of Him. How could He have given His only Son for us, if He were? How much more compassion could He have had for us? To have planned to (it began back in the Old Testament) become man, come to earth - heal, teach, mentor --- everything that Jesus did during His life - all while knowing He would eventually die a horrible death. Jesus did this willingly, for US. All of us, and future generations. So that we may have life, and life everlasting through His suffering, death, and resurrection. He bore all of the burden, upon Himself. He did this in human flesh. He bore it for our salvation, and did so willingly. This to me, is the ultimate of sacrifices. What a heart of compassion beyond man's comprehension!!! Then for man (and women) to think that God is mad, vengeful, and wrathful? This I don't understand.
The God that I know, loves beyond any earthly understanding we will ever have. A love that we will never fully comprehend at any time while we are on earth. The problem being, in most churches today - we are told what we do wrong - over and over - every Sunday - it's pounded into us. As if we have to be "re-saved" every week, we're so unworthy. A person gets saved once, once you believe upon Christ - you are saved FOR LIFE. We may struggle, but we do not loose our Grace. The free gift of Grace that Jesus gave to us upon the cross. Just read the new Testament - read Apostle Paul's Grace messages - and you will know unequivocally that you are saved, "by Grace alone." We are not under the Law, any longer. Law brings sin consciousness. No one could live under the Law, that is why Jesus came. Jesus was the final Lamb of God. The final price was paid in Jesus, on the cross when He said, "IT IS FINISHED!"
We do a disgrace to the price Jesus paid, when we feel like we have to work for our salvation. Do good - to get good. Grace is a gift - you never have to work for a gift. If you have to work for it, it isn't a gift. Jesus paid it all. God knew what He was doing - and we cheapen the cross when we feel like we have to pay for it. Once a person understands, Christ shines through you. You have no desire to sin. This has radically changed my life. It's called radical Grace. I've often spoken of my church - Midland - and Paul White Ministries. All of his sermons are free online to download - and listen to online. The website is www.paulwhiteministeries.org. It is a message like no other - The Grace message. Grace churches are popping up all over.
I join my church this Sunday - and I am so excited. God has done amazing things for me this past year. I had an interview yesterday for a counseling job. I have not interviewed for my chosen field in 12 years. I'm doing freelance work - and the thing about it is that God has healed me, throughout this past year. I could not even bring myself to do a resume, because of the way that I felt about myself. The regret and shame that I had from the mistakes from my past. I know now that I am a child of the Living God. I am the righteousness of God in Christ. My life has been transformed - in the year I've been at Midland. God has done for me, what I could have never done for myself. I'm deeply loved, and highly favored - God knows the desires of my heart. I love Him more deeply that I ever have before - and it just keeps growing. I cannot tell you all of the good things that have/are happening in my life - and two short years ago I was as close to homelessness as they come. Everything that I owned (basically my clothes and shoes) was in my car. I was a wreck. But God has changed all of that, and so much more.
So God? It is personal, He is my closest confidante, my hope, my everything. He is loving beyond our comprehension. He is infinite, omniscient, omnipresent, and real. I love Him with all my heart. This is God.