Showing posts from September, 2014

Letting Go.

I've several things going on in my life right now.  My mother is ill, and has been in the hospital with double pneumonia - among other things.  She is back in the nursing home now, but I have been unable to go and see her - she is several miles away.  My car is in need of repair, and I'm driving it gingerly.  A part for the car had to be ordered that will not come in until Tuesday of next week, then I can get it repaired.  I have to pray to not feel guilty, anxious, and distressed about not being able to go and see my mom - because they almost let her die in that nursing home.  I realize that my feeling any number of those feelings doesn't change anything --- but tell that to my heart.  (sigh).   If it weren't for my God and the peace that He has bestowed to me, I think I'd be a basket case right now.  I know that I would be.  There just isn't anything that I can do about this situation, it is unsafe for me to travel that far - and it is quite a ways, so I have…

Seasons of life.

I'm not actually sure where to start when it comes to the things that have transpired in my life - since I've last written.  It seems I struggle, and then rise above it, and then struggle again.  Some of it (probably more that I like to admit) is self-imposed - through mental and emotional torture.  If I only had some sort of magic formula to turn off this thought generator in my head.  It's a lot a kin to a percolator - steady going at it with the expulsion of thought.  I so often just wish it would shut down.  However, don't misunderstand - just because my mind goes on ... my emotions aren't always tied to them.  Some of the things that happen - I detach from.  Yeah, me, I'm learning..... And I'm learning about not taking things personally...   sometimes it just someone's drama - and it has nothing to do with me.  But, the biggest thing is just living in peace.  The peace that grace gives you.  I could blog for what feels like lifetimes about this.  A…