As I sit here this morning, I've thought of many things. As I do when I think of writing, a feeling overtakes me. I think of Father God and all that I've been through. I think of the love that is never ending - the constancy I'd never known - and how this has affected my life. These are the times when there just aren't words. Words fail when it comes to describing the Father's steadfast, enduring, heartfelt love. His mercy so great that one's heart feels as if it might burst with such feeling of earnest emotion. Never will I be able to describe it, nor in all actuality live my life to the full that I know that the Lord would have me. Do not be confused, this has nothing to do with working to pay the Lord back, not to live up to some "standard", or fulfill some payment -- but how I know that my Savior would have me live in the riches of happiness. I say that with sadness, a transfixed emotion -- because of God's true nature.
What do I mean by that? I believe God loves hanging out with us. He walked with Adam in the cool of the day in Eden. We were created by God I believe for his pleasure. Not as we think of pleasure, but an unconditional love like we cannot even fathom. This I believe, is how His mercy is so great. All because He loves us this much. It's taken me my entire life to come to this understanding or consciousness.
I think about how I love people. It pales in comparison (mine) to how God must love us. I think of the comprehension that I have of unconditional love. It must merely be the tip end of a pencil to how God loves. Oh, how this warms my heart. How it enlarges my heart. How it fills my heart with great joy. It is my driving force. Love, mercy and Grace. God's grace.
And what of the poem above? God answers my prayers in astounding
ways. In such creative ways sometimes I have to chuckle. Sometimes I am in such awe of the mind of God. In truth, I'm always humbled by the mind of Christ.
I've been struggling as of late, grappling with anger and things of this nature. I've been flying off the handle and it seems I cannot control it. It's a season of difficulty for me right now. I don't know it's purpose. I am assured of one thing: God has one. What God brings you to, He'll bring you through.
I prayed yesterday to see something beautiful. Today God brought me to some of my past writings. He led me to remembering someone that I love deeply. He gave me precious sleep. All of these things led me to remember that what I felt Sunday at church - I will be eternally grateful to have been made known to a God of consistent love. I'd never known a love like this. Love that endures.
I love people, love a lot of people. When I pray for them I ask God to scoop them all up in a net like structure for fear of forgetting someone -- much like the nets the disciples used in the bible when fishing with Jesus. Then I pray for them. It is my way of getting everyone. I guess I've had faith that it works. The faith is the key....
May you have faith today. Even if it's just a little. For we're all given a measure of it. It waxes and it wanes and this is okay. Just have it. Nourish it. Cherish it. Let it be your little light that shines. Believe and know that the Lord loves you beyond your comprehension. More than you mother. Contemplate on that. His mercy and His Grace endures forever. Amen.