Friday, May 5, 2017

Quintessential Change

This beautiful passage found it's way to me yesterday morning.  I think we can all attest to it's rare beauty, raw authenticity, and voluptuous truth.  As for it's author, I am always, always in awe of Ms. Williamson's silken profundity.  Her words like velvet to the mind.  Her heart, always open, sharing her uttermost being with integrity and genuine risk.  Her universal voice speaks with love of and to mankind, with miracles in mind.  Her message, although not arduous, is that of love - period.  I've read four of her books, and adored each and every one.  Most I've read more than once, and have given them as gifts to treasured friends.  "The Gift of Change" - being the first, and, "A Return to Love", and also, "Illuminata - A Return to Prayer".  I would encourage anyone to read any of these publications, they are illuminating.

I had my session with Doc  - and I've been in rapid change cycles for the last two weeks. The messages, what I read in the Word, and the things that evolve in my life are just mind blowing.  I know intrinsically that I am right in the heart of my healing process.  It feels kind of wonderful and scary - all at the same time.  We are a conformed people, and what I mean by that is, that even though there are things that aren't good for us, don't feel good to us, we'll do them over, and over because they're familiar.  Most people had rather just stay the same as to risk change.  Change isn't easy - there are multiple factors involved, and often --- emotional pain from grief.  Each and everything that we let go of - is an actual (whether or not we acknowledge it or not) physical or emotional loss.  With change comes transformation - we become different human beings.  Hopefully, we become better - either in our thinking, emoting, perception, health, or prosperity.  However, not everyone can actually see change in this light.  Most people fear change, and therefor avoid it to their own demise.  An I state that because as humans we're hardwired for change, and to attempt to derail that process is futile.  In my humble opinion, we are born to adapt.  Adaptation is essential to/for us or we become dis-eased.  Alcoholism, addiction, cancer, etc.  The stress of not adapting I truly believe, will eventually destroy.

I am on the opposite of the spectrum.  I process in an attempt to seek change out of perceived brokenness because of my traumatic past. However, I over function in the seeking, due to a faulty belief system instilled in me from my childhood. I was never enough - ever.  The really sad thing is I haven't (YET) made peace with this.  I say this to say, they're aren't always concrete "blatant" answers.  Even though we may think we know what we need, sometimes it comes quite slowly - and it may come from a source that you never imagined.  An sometimes it's in the act of feverishly seeking that you'll never find your answers.  It usually comes through letting go, or just plain acceptance.  This is what I am finding.  I've sought 'the answers' so hard that my consequences and my dysfunctional behaviors have overtaken my life, at times.   This my friends, is never good.

Being an intelligent person is usually a positive thing.  However, when we think so hard we loose sight of God - it's never good.  This is what happens to me - and I know if is is my experience, I'm not alone.  This is why is so essential for me to stay grounded in the Word (Jesus) of God daily - because without my even recognizing it - I can and will head off into territory of the mind (body and spirit) where I have no business.  I'm not just talking about being disobedient.  There's that too, but I humbly admit --- I forget that I NEED God----BAD.  Because left to my own devices, I will crash and burn.  Jesus is The light, The truth, and The way --- and all of my healing has (and will) come through Him.   I will never, ever be perfect.  That isn't the point  folks.  No wear near.  Albeit --- my heart yearns for WHOLENESS.  It's been my quest since the beginning of addiction recovery - some 24 years ago.  I do know unequivocally, that I am close - so very, very, close now.  An I praise God for this.  My path has not been an easy one... but I wouldn't change any of it.  It has made me who I am, an even if I am not quite completely where I would like to be --- I like who I have become in and through this journey.  I owe so much to Jesus Christ.  An I will again give of what he's given me, as I try to do here, of my life in testimony, for Him.  I shouldn't even be alive.  Many a miracle I have  witnessed.  There's  more yet to come.  Praise GOD!!!!

Please listen to this video - the beginning of it is so beautiful - and explain so much our inmate need for Christ.  As always - you're all in my thoughts and prayers - I'll share with you again soon - God's precious grace and bountiful favor be upon you each and everyday of your lives.  God Bless 💖💗💖💕


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