Marianne ascribes that there really are only two emotions, love and fear. Well actually it comes from the ever difficult 'A Course in Miracles.' I tried to understand it, even took a class, but cannot say I agree with all of it's teachings. I don't believe that this life is but a dream. That's just me, I'm too reality based, and my feet are too firmly planted on the ground. Pain, chronic pain has a way of doing that. I have a hard time living in a dream world. But alas, I digress.
Love? Yes, we need much more of it, and not just on holidays. It quickens the heart. It springs forth compassion and good will towards man. Things that are lacking in todays world. Everyone has been so wrapped up in themselves since the nineties. Self-esteem, self-worth - all of the self's... I'm guilty of it as well. I matured during this period. We forget to look outward while looking inward.
There is a song that I dearly wanted to post by Susan Tedeschi entitled, 'Revolutionize your Soul' - in which she talks about our never having seen a skyscraper. Never having ridden in an elevator. She talks about people driving Hummers. I know that I cannot do these lyrics justice, but it is a song about simple things of life and how far we've gotten away from them. I could not find it on youtube or I'd post it. We have gotten so far into money, ourselves, and things that we've forgotten mankind. Perhaps this is what is perpetuating our fears. We're overwhelmed with success and its accusition.
This leads me to believe it's no wonder I'm filled with fear at times. No wonder that I push myself so hard. Everyone wants credentials. We're a world full of them, it's how we introduce ourselves. We are not human beings we're human doings. Who we are is less important that what we do. How sad.
I know that I will not be the one to change this, nor set the world on fire about love. I wish I could! However, the chances of this are unlikely. I can have my hopes. I suppose I have to tend to my little portion of the world, these words that I write and my heart. I can effect those that I touch. I like this. Instead of feeling powerless to my fears, it makes me feel like I have a little piece of power in my world. I can go today and be kind. I can quell the fears of the past - and be loving. I can be kind, considerate, compassionate and earnest. I can turn off the 'it's all about me', for today. I can be in service of my fellow man. I think to a great extent this is what Marianne really teaches - to be loving and kind - then see what develops in your life. I believe this is what Jesus would have me do as well. Perhaps this is the answer to the state of fear that I've been experiencing. Just show up, and be loving - day by day. Leave the consequences up to God. Let life unfold. There isn't much room for ruminating this way-- just life. Perhaps this way, I'd leave myself alone. Perhaps I'd learn to be loving to myself as well. This seems to be a lifelong lesson for me. The key here is to find peace. Peace with myself. I can't get it anywhere else, I've tried. It all boils down to surrender once again. Surrender and acceptance. I feel much more at peace today. It is a matter of doing and not thinking. Sometimes we just cannot think our way out of things. It's got to be in the doing. Today, I'm just going to do it. Show up and love.
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